A general consensus of my single lady friends, young and younger, is that they are tired of being single. They question their beauty, their talents, their personalities, everything. They ask: What am I doing wrong? Why don't men like me? I just can not seem to attract any great men. My favorite recent line that came up in a conversation is that the men just are not lining up.

I go to a Christian University where the odds really are not in a girl's favor, I think the ratio is 8:1 women to men. I imagine that competing here would be like fighting in smog of hair straightening, primping, shaving, perfume, and powdery make-up (don't get me wrong, I definitely do all of those things). But, that is just it, we shouldn't be competing or better yet, feeling like we have to. Finding a man and getting married becomes a priority so much so that it has a place next to graduating college, and finding a good job, getting married becomes something that a person can just check off a list to feel successful or valuable.

Maybe some of you have tried and failed, have had really bad relationships and heart breaks, maybe some of you have just never dated anyone, or did but never for very long. Regardless of where you are in life, whether it's in high school, college, work or whatever, believe that God has a love picked out for you. If you are single find comfort in that. Pray for your relationship with God and build strong relationships with your girl friends. Don't walk around and scan every man that walks by you to see if they are marriage material. Don't think that any time a man opens a door for you that he could be the "one." Don't let anyone tell you that you are too picky. Don't let someone convince you that you need to date someone because everyone else is. Don't let yourself feel like you are less than beautiful because you do not have a man on your arm. Don't tell yourself that you need to date to become good at it or to "figure out what you like." And definitely don't tell yourself that you need a man.

Keep your standards because there is a man out there that is better than even the best man that you can imagine. If you are single my suggestion is to stay single until God presents your husband to you. A friend of mine that I met on a mission trip told me while I was in my own puddle of doubt and pity because I have always been single and had never been kissed, that this was actually a beautiful blessing. She said how wonderful it would be to have only ever dated and given your heart away to one man. This changed everything for me, I never thought that a man would appreciate my heart as a gift. But, now I do. Ladies, hold out, if there is a man that you are "talking to" but you don't see yourself marrying, then stop while you are ahead. Your love is a gift, give it to the one that God picked out for you, the one that God has been molding and training from birth, to fit you, lead you, and make you a better person. You don't need to compete against all the girls in the world for all the men in the world. And, you don't need the men to line up outside your door and take a number for a date with you, you only need one man to do this--the best man for you. Ladies, stand together, empower and lead one another. If a class mate get's a "ring by spring" then be happy for her, pray for her marriage, this is what God planned for her and her fiance, and take heart, he is planning things for you too.

Trust your gut, trust your head and your heart, and most of all trust God. I believe that God is faithful; that he knows what is on your heart, and if love is a desire of yours then God is already a million steps ahead of you. Seek your relationship with God; find your worth in him and not in all of your accomplishments. Lastly, pray for your future husband and get excited for even more blessings.

"Oh, let me warn you sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe--and you're ready." Song of Solomon 3:5 Msg.